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ON THIS PAGE
NO INSURANCE BILLING
Because these are
educational services
rather than medical
care, they are not
billable to insurance
and generally are not
HSA/FSA eligible.
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Services & Rates
Effective July 25, 2026
All services are educational and non-clinical. Sessions are available in person [[CITY, STATE]] or by video.
Sessions
| Service | Length | Rate |
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Intake Call
A conversation about what you are trying to solve, and an honest answer about whether this is the right kind of help. No sales pitch. |
20 min |
No charge |
Initial Consultation
History, current routine, goals, constraints. You receive written notes and a short, specific list of things to try. |
75 min |
[[RATE]] |
Follow-Up Session
Review what happened, adjust, troubleshoot. Most clients start every two to four weeks and taper from there. |
45 min |
[[RATE]] |
Lab Literacy Session
What the panels your clinician ordered actually measure, what reference ranges mean, and what to ask about. Not interpretation or diagnosis — that belongs to your provider. |
45 min |
[[RATE]] |
Supplement & Routine Review
An inventory of everything you are taking and why, with a written list of interaction questions for your pharmacist or physician. |
45 min |
[[RATE]] |
Peptide Education Session
Evidence and regulatory landscape, plus questions to bring to a prescriber. No doses, protocols or sourcing. Request information. |
45 min |
[[RATE]] |
Ongoing Coaching
Monthly arrangement including two sessions plus messaging between them. Minimum three months. |
monthly |
[[RATE]] |
Focus Areas
Nutrition & Eating Patterns
Structure over restriction. Meal timing, protein and fiber, alcohol, travel and eating out, and how to keep any of it going past week three.
Movement & Strength
Building a routine that survives contact with a real schedule, starting from wherever you actually are rather than where a magazine says you should be.
Sleep & Circadian Rhythm
Consistently the most neglected input and often the cheapest to improve. Timing, light, environment, and the habits that quietly wreck it.
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Stress & Recovery
Workload and rest as a single system. What recovery actually requires, and how to tell the difference between tired and depleted.
Lab Literacy
Understanding your own numbers well enough to have a real conversation with your clinician instead of nodding through one.
Sorting Information
Evaluating the claims you encounter — podcasts, supplements, protocols, peptides — on the strength of their evidence rather than the confidence of their delivery.
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Scope of Practice
Being explicit about limits is part of doing this honestly. Read this section carefully before booking.
| Included | Not included, ever |
|---|
- Education and explanation
- Goal setting and accountability
- Habit and routine design
- Help preparing for medical appointments
- Referral to licensed professionals
- Written notes after every session
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- Diagnosis of any condition
- Treatment of any condition
- Prescriptions or medication changes
- Ordering or interpreting labs diagnostically
- Sale or sourcing of any substance
- Injections or any procedure
- Emergency or crisis care
- Psychotherapy or eating disorder treatment
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If what you need falls in the right-hand column, that is not a dead end — it just means the next call is to a clinician, and helping you figure out which one is something we can do together.
Policies
- Scheduling. By appointment. Request a time through the contact form or by telephone.
- Payment. Due at the time of service. [[PAYMENT METHODS]]
- Cancellation. Please give 24 hours notice. Sessions cancelled with less notice may be billed in full.
- Privacy. What you share stays between us. We are not a covered entity under HIPAA, which means those specific protections do not apply — so we keep records minimal by design. See the F.A.Q.
- Referrals. We keep no financial relationship with anyone we refer you to.
- Honesty. If we do not know something, we will say so rather than improvise.
Request a free intake call
IMPORTANT NOTICE. ClownDiabetes provides educational and coaching services only. We are not a medical practice, and the information on this site is not medical advice. Nothing here is intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. We do not practice medicine, prescribe, administer, sell, source or dispense any drug, compound or peptide. Always consult a licensed health care professional before making changes to your diet, exercise, supplement or medication routine. If you think you may be having a medical emergency, call your local emergency number immediately.
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